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I'm slim, but not thin, and have firm, nicely shaped boobs. You will then be consumed — tender and steaming — by all present.If I am attractive enough for you and your offer is real, not just a joke, I will have a friend take some other pictures of me totally nude. Another scenario would be a private ceremony: just the two of us.I believe neither of us can be satisfied on these points until we have met in person. If it turns out that you are as represented and wish to go through with this adventure, we will then have to work out the details by which you sever all ties with your current life.You understand, of course, that it will be necessary for you to come live with me from the time of your agreement until the time of the banquet so that we may establish a proper bond and plan an exciting scenario in which you will be the star.In the second place, I placed them in the personals of a couple of those sleazy pulp zines that come wrapped in plastic so you can't peek before you buy, and are shoehorned in amongst the sex toys and videos in "adult" book stores.I ran them under "Men looking for Women." As the Advertising Manager for a Boston area newspaper I happen to know a thing or two about advertising in general and the personals in particular, and I honestly believed no real live woman would respond to such an ad, or even read it in the first place.Apparently the other magazine ads — the ones seeking playmates to strip, torture and fuck — are okay with his Christian god, but hobnobbing with the competition deities is a major no-no — anathema! I'd make it even more outrageous this time, and more specific. Please include height, weight, measurements and a recent photo.

If you really are earnest in your desire to become food in a manner you yourself help design, tell me when it will be convenient for you to meet me for our initial personal contact. " She smiled mischievously at me and polished off her burger, licking her fingers.

They were worth a couple of zesty e-mail exchanges. Maybe you remember seeing it: Young, attractive female wanted to volunteer as the featured course at a discrete private banquet.

The other response was from an irate "born again Christian" who used up several lines of misspelled and badly typed verbiage to castigate me for worshiping false gods (or in this case, goddesses). I had so much fun with that first ad, I decided to try it again. Prefer someone who will enjoy participating in the planning, preparations and pre-banquet orgy.

Furthermore, some of my overnight guests will probably appreciate a little background info. I never expected to receive a serious response to either of the ads.

It might also be amusing to let the cows read it as a stimulating glimpse of things to come! My favorite so far is, "Dining on Crystal." Is that sick or what? In the first place, they were so bizarre, who could take them at face value?

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