Henry Cloud and John Townsend, clearly noted the confusion which resulted from so many mixed messages floating around churches, college campuses, and other Christian young adult circles.
But a truly Christian conception of boundaries in dating will not only draw physical boundaries (as if dating was merely a relationship between two Christian bodies).
Dependence or co-dependence cede that which God has granted to every person in his image by divine right (Matt. It is wrong for a person to have a kind of control in a romantic context that God does not call any person to give to another (see 2 Sam. We never owe anyone a specific emotion or a particular amount of it. You are each your own person walking with God and neighbor, and you undercut your ability to give love in a safe and stable way as soon as you become anything less.
To give another your whole heart too early is both unsafe to you and unfair to them. (Be worried if people start giving you couple combo-names like “Brannifer” or “Joeronica.”) (4) Sexual boundaries promote independence, health, and clarity.
The authors remind the readers that we ought to “bring dating before God and ask for his guidance.
After all, the One who designed emotional connections knows best how they are best conducted, in a way that is satisfying for us and glorifying to him.” They also pose the all-important question young adults need to honestly ask themselves: “Does [the dating relationship] bring you closer to God, or push you further away?