Max talked his way through two sessions, almost without taking a breath, before I was able to interrupt him and ask how he was feeling. I don’t want to feel.” I asked Max if he thought that might be part of the problem that had led his wife to ask for a divorce.His eyes filled with tears and his voice cracked as he replied, “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask me that. He nodded and said, “I haven’t been able to let myself feel anything for a long time. It’s really because I’m in danger of feeling too much.” Max had hit the nail on the head.In the meantime, I feel that the world at large should not be subjected endlessly to excessive talking which more often than not leaves the listener feeling used and abused.I agree that solid boundaries as to how much a listener is willing to take should be enforced for the sanity of the listener who deserves compassion as well. “Today he asked me how my weekend went, and before I could utter a word he started telling me about everything he had done.” We all know someone like this man—people who talk without listening, who seem to think that what they have to say is as fascinating to everyone else as it is to them, and who don’t seem to understand that listening is an important part of communicating and connecting to others. But people who talk too much don’t seem to get this balance. A number of my colleagues on PT have written about the difficulty some of us have either listening to others or to ourselves.
I agree that solid boundaries as to how much a listener is willing to take should be enforced for the sanity of the listener who deserves compassion as well. This article however, did not help me because the over talker who will sabotage your boundaries will also manipulate what they are saying so the minute you try and interrupt them it'll be "but I was just getting to my point" or "wait one second and I'll tell you what you wanted to know"... Sounds like you and your husband have tried everything you can.Everyday, She talks about her family and says their sick and "ill".She will go to one persons house to talk about this person,vice versa.I agree with you that you can only speak for yourself and not for everyone who is an over-talker.I personally have encountered non-stop talkers who were either oddly oblivious to or deliberately ignoring my polite indications that I wished to respond to their point, wished to ask a question, or my polite indications that I needed to leave.Either way, these monologues are the opposite of the kind of story-telling exchange that Mankell describes, that bring us closer to other people.