After a drinking binge, anxiety and guilt set in and the alcoholic needs to have another drink.It is the emotional part of the addiction and psychologically that is why they drink again.Once the alcoholic starts drinking there is nothing a spouse can do or say to make them stop.Sure, you can pour their bottle of booze down the sink, but what for? Alcoholics are devious and conniving when it comes to getting their booze.
A very sensible boundary is to let your spouse know that if they continue to cheat on the marriage, then you cannot have sex with them.
But, I also notice that many describe their own addiction of sorts – to the partner.
A love and attachment you cannot shake, despite the consequences. My first suggestion would be to treat with skepticism any advice to take choice 1 over choice 2. And only you will know just how much sadness and anxiety is going to be inherent with either option.
Question: I cannot bear my wife’s alcoholism any longer. I’m continually moved by the vivid descriptions of the carnage that addiction causes, and the impossible “you choose, you lose” dilemmas faced by exhausted, isolated partners.
Most of my friends tell me to leave her, and my family tells me to stick it out. Note: I first wrote this answer as a way to talk about methods to approach tough dilemmas, and since that time it has grown into the forum you see now.